This blog explores the breadth and depth of just how truly horrible I am at being an adult.

Enjoy.

Friday, July 18, 2008

I can't find a roommate.

Is it because of my Craig's List post?
...

Hi!

I'm a 22 year-old college grad about to start at law school! But don't worry about that; I'm not ready for my soul to whither just yet! And don't worry about me becoming an asshole in the next few years as I get closer to being an attorney; I'm already an asshole!
I've got a sweet two-bedroom that I need a roomie for!

Me:
Brown hair and patchy, reddish beard
Short
Pasty white skin
Vague resemblance to the Lucky Charms Leprechaun (so don't expect to see me wearing
too much green!)
I'm into whatever music other hip people are into, but if
too many people like them, I'll stop.
I also love watching really bad movies, listening to bad music, and reading tabloids but all with a sense of irony and superiority.
How about an out-of-context true story about me? Okay. Carlos Santana once drove over my sandwich in his Mercedes.


Don't worry! My eyes aren't really lasers!


You:
A girl (Don't worry- It's not cuz I want to get with you... I want get with your
friends)
But, still, you have to be single.
You must like NPR (You must be able to name the hosts of two of the following three shows:
Fresh Air, This American Life, and Car Talk)
You must not care that we are paying the same rent as one another, yet I get the one parking spot allotted to the apartment.
You must not watch bad movies, listen to bad music, or read tabloids without a sense of irony and superiority.

Oh, and I do heroin. No cats; I'm allergic!

1 comment:

  1. It's a good thing you lied about your eyes being lazers. Nobody would be your roommate if they knew the truth about that.

    By the way, my word verification for this comment is sgovf, which I think sounds kind of funny.

    ReplyDelete