This blog explores the breadth and depth of just how truly horrible I am at being an adult.


Monday, September 8, 2008

I got some bad news today.

I got some rather unfortunate news today. I found out that one of my former high school teachers has been charged with molesting some male students. It's weird, but I never noticed anything creepy about the guy at all. And here he is, seven years later accused of taking advantage of some of his students who were in the same position I once was. That's a mind-fuck, right? It really makes you wonder... what's so bad about me?

I mean, why did this guy never once make a pass at me?

Now, don't get me wrong; I'm fully aware that it's no fun to be robbed of your innocence by someone in whom you've placed your trust. Someone who should be guiding you through already-difficult years of adolescence. But still, I can't help but wonder what it was about me that was such a turnoff for him.

And let me just say, I'm not into guys or anything. Not in the least. But would it have killed him to just once have made an inappropriate comment about, say, how he was pleased to see me growing into my body?

While I'm sure that had I been fondled by this man back in the day, I would be negatively impacted for a long, long time, at least it would cure my lingering suspicion that I'm a disgusting fatty.

It's things like this that can really scar a person. It's almost enough to make you lose faith in our education system. How can things like this happen? Of course, I'm speaking now of the abominable sexual abuse perpetrated by the teacher.

I am not speaking about his rudely having neglected to "accidentally" graze my package with an errant hand while I stayed after class. Didn't he even care about what I may have been packing? Didn't he even care about my feelings?


  1. I have to say Tone Bone, the acceptance speech was quite amusing. so amusing i was thinking of posting something in praise of it as a comment. However, i have chosen to comment on this sub par rip off of its always sunny. did u think we wouldn't notice Tony? did you really think we haven't seen that show?? I could go on, but i'm quite certain you have been accused of plagarism by numerous teachers before so i'll spare u.

  2. a) yes, i love Always Sunny
    b) i don't remember that joke from the show.
    c) tell me one time that child molestation has been joked about TOO much. never. exactly.